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In mettā (lovingkindness), as in so many kinds of spiritual practice, we are instructed to love our neighbor, excluding none: folks we like and don’t like, appreciate, fear, or judge by their actions to be very difficult people. We often think of “difficult person practice” as a kind of emotional purification, where we work through our judgment and aversion. This is good, but there’s more to enjoy about it than this! Difficult people are just a symptom, and the sickness is Saṃsāra, the wandering. We start by understanding difficult people as wounded people, and then as victims of the great poisons of greed, hatred, and delusion. Seeing with the eyes of compassion in this way, blame and hatred drain away.
Sean Oakes supports movements for individual and collective liberation in our time of great trouble. He teaches and writes on somatics and philosophy in Buddhism, Yoga, and contemplative movement. Dr. Oakes practiced as a monk in Burma, received authorization in Insight Meditation from Jack Kornfield, wrote his PhD dissertation on extraordinary states of consciousness in Buddhist meditation and experimental dance, and lives in human and non-human community on a ridge near the ocean.
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