To be able to enter deeply into relationship, it is necessary to be able both to forgive and to assert yourself skillfully. Forgiveness and assertiveness support each other. Forgiveness clears out ill will so you can assert yourself with compassion and Wise Speech. Self-assertion takes care of your own needs so forgiveness can emerge without the sense that you are a doormat. This experiential workshop will get into the nitty-gritty of how to bring the Buddha’s profound teachings on interrelatedness, lovingkindness, and virtue (sila) into the messy real world of relationships with family members, lovers, friends, bosses, and co-workers. This workshop - led by a world renowned expert on forgiveness, and by an experienced couples and family therapist and meditation teacher - will offer user-friendly information with lots of practical methods. We'll cover: -- The Buddha’s teachings on non-harming, wise speech, compassion and kindness, and releasing ill will -- as well as his teachings on self-care, respecting your own needs, and looking out for your own happiness -- The primacy of relationships in evolution, and the deep capacities for both loving altruism and fearful aggression -- The neural machinery of emotional reactivity and developing grievances with others -- Why forgiveness and assertiveness are both important -- The foundation of basic mindfulness, precepts, Wise Speech, compassion for oneself and others, and emotional self-care -- Forgiveness practices -- Assertiveness practices There will be some voluntary paired activities as well as time for questions and discussion. While the teachings are appropriate for use in health care professions, no background with psychology or meditation is needed. Also please know that this workshop is not psychotherapy or any substitute for professional care.

There are so many things to want in this world. The Buddha's advice? Want what is true...

Renunciation and earth and air elements; guided meditation

Howard Thurman, the great African American activist, mystic, and theologian, once said: “Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” In the spirit of this guidance, we continue exploring how to understand and respond some of the core issues related to the tenth anniversary of September 11, 2001. We are further guided by (1) understanding the inter-relationships between individual, relational, and collective domains of practice; and (2) taking wisdom, compassion, and courage (and responsiveness) as three touchstones of our practice, both more inner and more outer.

We begin with a review of what was covered in Part I (July 10, 2011), covering the importance of speech practice, the basics of Wise (or “Right”) Speech practice, what this practice looks like in the context of small groups, and the basics of how to approach speech practice in challenging situations. We then bring in new materials, using short presentations and exercises, that expand our capacities to respond skillfully in challenging situations. We first examine how to direct mindful attention to emotions and underlying interests or values both in ourselves and in others (using some of the models from Nonviolent Communication and the Harvard Negotiation Project on "Difficult Conversations"). We also bring attention to our stories and narratives, using the model of the "Ladder of Inference" to help clarify how we often go very quickly to stories (particularly self-centered ones, often way beyond the "data") in challenging situations. We then develop further our capacities to use these tools and perspectives in situations in which we are triggered, and to respond more skillfully.

Guided by several key teachings, particularly how we might bring together wisdom, compassion, and courage, we explore some of the issues raised in reflection on the last ten years. A focus is the parallel between personal practice and responding to larger social issues.